Feeling Sideways

Welcome back my friends. To the blog that never ends.

Not a whole lot going on in my life as per usual. Just coming and going to work. Coming home, getting a couple bottles of Chimay and some tacos or burgers, ordering a pizza online, whatever.

And chilling out watching YouTube videos all night or a DVD on my computer. Lately the DVD choices have been Sideways or Gangs of New York.

Do I want a girlfriend? Yes. But not enough to go out to the bars, clubs, whatever to find one. I am content to be miserable it seems. And not exercise or deal with humanity in any way. Other than where it is totally needed such as work.

I've been going to Arclight in Hollywood to see movies almost every weekend. Just to add some excitement.

I've been e-mailing my Romanian friend pretty regularly. I guess she is having a rough time of it, health problems and whatnot. She's having a tough time here in Southern California. She's crazy but sweet. I hope she gets her life together.

Still have not finished getting the corrected masters for the film together. The production company still has not finished with them. The pitfalls of indie filmmaking I reckon.

It is so weird. Why can't I be like most people? Why can't I smile like most people do, laugh like most people do, have friends, have girlfriends, wives, be normal? Why am I so cut off from humanity? Because I want to. But when people are young they aren't cut off from others.

Most people have happy childhoods, they fall in love and lust, they date, they have friends, are happy most of the time. They can't imagine going to the movies alone. They...

Or hell, I'll never be like them. I'll never believe in religion, or like to socialize at work, I'll...

I'll never be normal. Lucky me. I get to be God's odd man out.

The one pick last (or not picked at all) when two sides are choosing up teams.

Fuck 'em all.