Feeling A Bit...

Pointless, useless. What have you.

The whole gamit -- or is the word gambit? Not in the mood to check dictionary.com today.

I'm such a moody type. So angry, so bitter, so pissed off. I'm wondering why I can't locate this blog on google.com searches. Wondering what the point of life is.

I'm depressed about having to work for the next two weeks without a day off. This longshoreman gig pays well -- but working six days or seven days a week can be trying.

Hoping my filmmaking gig pays off so I can quit this gig. Still, I shouldn't complain. I'm a lot better off financially than most people. My ex said I had an angel on my shoulder. But it feels as if a devil is biting me on the ass a helluva lot lately.

I've come to the conclusion that I am a sad, unhappy human being incapable of enjoying life. Except for glimpses here and there. I feel like a miserable sack of shit frequently. I'm disgusted and revolted by my personal appearance. And don't get me started on some of the dailies in my latest movie.

Shit -- I look so freakish in some scenes. That's what happens when you don't have a video assist on set. No wonder Jerry Lewis invented the damn thing. Jerry Lewis -- creator of the video assist? How fucked up is that? Shouldn't Kubrick have done it?

A Clockwork Orange. Probably my favorite film of all time. Well, it's either this life or the grave. And the grave scares me too much. Peace.