I'm A Miserable Human Being

I hate life. I hate everything.

I can't enjoy anything these days. I've gotten a string of rejection notices from film festivals.

Even though I got into one of the biggest in the world, Cinequest, I'm still angry about not getting into the others. I'm wondering if getting into Cinequest is just a fluke.

Nuts. If they did not like the film it wouldn't have gotten in. I got accepted to the World Comedy Film Festival too. But I turned them down so I could premiere at Cinequest.

I just want to get into some others, do my reshoots, and get a decent distribution for the film. I deserve it. I honestly do. I think you should be be ashamed to say life owes you something sometimes when you work hard at something. Or perhaps I should say work smart. I believe in smart work, not hard.

I've no friends, no life, no woman. I'm sad and bitter and angry. I can't enjoy life. I should be able to enjoy it. I've got a lot of things in my life many people don't.

I sometimes pray for the end of the world. And me being one of the few survivors to roam around the empty streets all day. That way none of this would matter anymore.

Like the great movies The Omega Man and The Quiet Earth.

Bill Hicks said it best. Life? It's just a ride. Don't take it too seriously be you a millionaire or flat broke. We all end up six feet under. The universe can and will go on without all of us.

Speaking of which. When did time start? And what was there before time started?

Let's say there is a God of some sort. What was there before God? What was here before the universe? And before that?

This thought always makes me feel cold. It chills me. How did time start? It's such a huge question to wrap your mind around.

Maybe Warren Zevon said it best, "Enjoy every sandwich."

Maybe he was saying when all else fails just forget it and enjoy the mundane things in life.