Make A Wish

Got sick on Saturday, thought it was undercooked meat.

Couldn't sleep all night. Was very painful to even walk. Thought I pulled a muscle below the abdomen.

Went to the hospital on Monday after calling in sick. They said I had diverticulitis. It is a problem with the intestines. They caught it early enough that a possible abcess didn't develop in the intestines and I didn't need surgery. There was micropeforation.

So I stayed six hours in a curtained emergency hospital room bed. The pain was bearable when you lie on your back. I was then taken to have a cat scan, diagnosed, then given a hospital room.

Stayed there from Monday morning till when I left at 1pm Friday. Was going stir crazy in that room, hooked up to an IV constantly and being fed anti-biotics and this other stuff that contains water and dextrose so patients can survive without food. Forget what is is called now. So I was off solid food for 3 days.

Wanted to get out of there by Thursday. And when the doctor didn't show up late Thursday I broke down pretty much and told the nurse I didn't want to stay in the hospital anymore. I hate hospitals. Even the good ones like this one.

It was so uncomfortable having strangers coming into your room wearing only underwear (you not them, that might have made the stay more interesting though given some of the nurses were hot) and a patients gown.

I sometimes couldn't goto the bathroom for fear my damn IV needle would dislodge and stop working because I couldn't move my arm. We moved the IV needle to another vein the next day and there were less mess ups. Plus I couldn't sleep since I couldn't get comfortable since I had to hold my arm in place.

So I stayed in bed most of the time. One thing that made it worth it was this painkiller. I asked for a sleeping tablet late that first night and it didn't help. But when I had a hit of this painkiller it just gave you this quick warm, sleepy feeling. And it took away body pains, headaches. You felt relaxed fast. They shot it into your IV tube and wham, instant relaxation. So the next few days I could bear it while on this painkiller. But I didn't think to ask for it the first night other than the time they gave it to me in the emergency ward.

If I stayed laying prone in bed there wasn't much pain. Only when I stood or walked. The painkiller reminded me of how people could easily get hooked on opium dens or some modern version of it. They'd be so stressed from the day to day activities I can see how easily it would be to go somewhere, lie down, take a hit and drift away from it all in a warm, fuzzy haze. I also didn't like having to ring this nurses call button hooked up to this remote that also worked the TV. Since I didn't want to be a bother. But I guess that just comes with what nurses do. They have a hard job. And they get paid pretty well for it. And I had people coming in my room one after the other drawing blood, housekeeping, whatever. Which is weird when you are pissing in a bottle under your sheets and don't want to get caught with someone walking in and watching you do it.

Having multiple, seemingly normal people asking me about personal bodily functions was off putting at first. But that's their job I had to remind myself. I didn't ask to have my sheets changed since I never left my room. I got a clean gown after the 2nd day. Only because they offered. I never was in a hospital and I didn't know you had to request this stuff.

Plus I finally got put on a liquid diet (which is the same thing for all 3 meals, a bowl of hot broth, a carton on juice, jello, a cup of hot tea, at lunch their was this sort of frozen Italian dessert with a foil sealed cover.

Then on the last day I got moved to solid food. The breakfast was scrambled eggs, dry toast, a slice of apple, a good sized bowl of oatmeal, a cup of coffee. They eggs tasted good at first till I realized they were probably not real or frozen or something. Mostly I didn't eat much of what they gave me. Since I am a picky eater.

But some of the most awful days ever. I guess this medical condition just happens. And no one knows why.

So I am home now, threw all the cold pizza and bottles of booze out. Not drinking anymore. No more red meat since my system can't handle it. Least not for some time. May drink socially in the future. But I never do the social thing anyway. Don't want this thing to recur. Need an excuse to not drink and eat healthier anyway.

Called and told work I will be out for two weeks to recover since that's how long my doctor said I would have to wait while I take medication at home after leaving the hospital. Got the perscriptions from the pharmacy.

I left the hospital thankful just to be out of there. Thought I'd never leave. Like I'd be lost in a sea of paper work and waiting for doctors to give the okay for release. But they were doing the right thing.

This condition can require surgery if not treated soon enough, they have to cut out the part of your intestines that get abcessed. How long would I have been in there if that was the case? I don't want to think about it. It scared me enough being in there.

I'm lucky it was a good hospital and I had my own room. If I had one of those rooms that I had to share with someone? Terrible. I'm lucky I had good health care coverage. The nurses encourage you to get out of your room and do a couple laps with your IV stand around the halls and no way was I gonna walk by nurses (a number of them young and pretty) in the halls like that.

I just brought one pair of clothes and underwear with me. Which I ended up rinsing out with hot water each morning. I didn't bring anything since I wasn't thinking I'd be staying. I tried to stay as clean as I could but with no shaving razor (and they won't give patients one unless the doctor says so for obvious reasons) and at times you can't get to the bathroom or even shower properly. You have to sponge bath yourself since they have to get an okay from the doctor to remove the IV since they had to keep constantly giving me fluids or anti-biotics.

They also had to tape up where they inserted the IV in your arm to cover it from the shower water. So at some point you realize these nurses see a lot more nasty things than yourself on a day to day basis. Really screwed up patients. This one dude roaming the halls with his IV machine looked like a skinny crazy homeless guy. And the young nurses were asking him, how are you feeling today, better? Like these pretty, normal nurses deal with these wack jobs all the time. I guess that guy musta been on Medicare since he looked too out of it to have had a job that gave him good health care. So at least those on Medicare got decent care as well at a facility like this.

I was afraid I was gonna see this girl I used to hook up with there. She works as a nurse and lives near me. Imagine if she walked in on me in one of the room where she was making her rounds.

They had curtains over the doors that were like 2 feet away from the doors to give extra privacy when people came barging into the rooms.

I hate hospitals. I don't like their scent. We certainly need them, but I don't like them. I don't know if God or fate saved me or if it was just a fluke I went in when I did. At one point when I was in the emergency room and they told me to disrobe and put the gown on I panicked and wanted to leave.

But I'm lucky it was just five days of fluids and anti-biotics. They said if you take them interveneously you heal much faster than just regular medication. I would have probably surivived even with the surgery.

But the mental stress and physical stress I don't want to think about. Or the length of the hospital stay. Lots of people have surgery. And I heard and saw people in the hospital who had been there multiple times (all older people). But the thought of going under the knife scares me. As does the scarring. The Israelis developed this laser that seals patients without stitiching them up. I would want that instead.

The pretty, thin head nurse who signed me out told me to take a shower when I got home to get all the hospital germs off me. She even handed me a pen, stopped, swabbed the pen down with a sterilizer napkin that comes sealed in foil and then gave me the pen. They had rubber gloves, hand cleaner, installed on the walls of every hospital room. Comes with the territory. But I thought, how does she work here all the time? She also said the doctor wanted me to take some potassium. So she gave me these two foil covered small plastic cups and I looked at the stuff and said, it looks like barbeque sauce. She laughed and said, it doesn't taste like barbeque sauce. So I downed it fast before she could get get me some water and she dashed out to get some. I had a small amount of water left in a glass in the hospital room but it didn't help much till she returned.

They also said they had to have me taken out in a wheelchair when I left. So this woman old enough to be my grandmother wheels out this six foot two guy who could be her grandson down to the front hospital door, I felt silly, like the position should be reversed, but just kept calm and endured the ride politely, I then made a point to thank her and split. Sure, she was in decent shape for her age. And she had smooth floors, carpets and elevators and modern wheelchairs to help her but for crying out loud I thought.

They were also a bit taken aback I didn't have anyone picking me up. And double checked that I was okay to drive myself which I was. But I drove away from there just glad that I was, not alive, which I was, but glad to be alive to be angry at the world, glad to listen to modern rock and pop songs on the radio, to see Legg's pantyhose on sale in the racks at the pharmacy, to be able to buy this new Sure deoderant I liked the packaging for, to be able to do all that and not be disfigured from surgery from some condition doctors with decades of experience don't know why happens, it just does, and being glad I could look in the mirror and see I'm still young enough to appreciate it all.

Make a wish, live another day.