Steppin' Out Again (Into The Light)

Bachelor moment.

When you want to make laundry easier. Just soak everything briefly in the kitchen sink and use shampoo as your soap. Well, you know if you want to make homemade bubble bath you pour liquid soap or shampoo into a running tub so it makes a soapy foam? It's like that. Soak everything, socks, sheets, whatever. Ring it out by hand as best you can, load it all up into a backpack or whatever else you have that's waterproof and drag the heavy stuff (amazing how heavy stuff gets when it is soaking wet) downstairs to the laundry room at your apartment complex, leaking water and hoping no one sees you, and then be shocked when it takes close to 4 hours to get everything bone dry in the dryer.

That's the price you pay for skipping the washing machine step, do the sink soaking thing and go straight to the dryer. But I wanted to skip the washing machine step since I hate going up and down to the machines to unload the washing machine and stuff everything into the dryer. But I eneded up going down multiple times anyway and spending multiple quarters on the machines.

I left work early today. Got my hair cut mondo short and colored. When I heard some fat ugly ghetto skank I walked by on the beach exclaim, "Oh my God! Look!" And as I walked by fast I thought she was pointing me out to her friends. And I thought, what is her fat ass problem? And I thought, uh, is it my hair blowing in the wind and my skanky grayish roots showing underneath the badly dyed parts?

But I could have just been paranoid. She might not have been talking to me. But one's first impression is one's best impression. So...

Or the fact that when I'm walking and sweating and zoning out I sometimes make a weird clicking kissy face with my mouth and lips and maybe this skank thought I was making come on faces to her? As fat and homely as she was, no way would I have ever put the moves on that thing!

Or maybe it was just a teenager, a young person, doing dumbass teenager, young person shit.

Either way it motivated me to take a few hours off and get some errands done. I was paranoid about people at work or anyone in public gawking at my strange hair. I tried to tell myself not to care what other people think. But then I figured just take the time off. First thing to do was the hair, which I am vain about, the second being a test drive in a 2007 used red Mustang at the local Ford dealership. It was $22,000. And the same dark red as my current Mustang. But it didn't have the same legroom as the current ride. So I thought, I'll pass. At over six foot I need leg room. I can't have my legs pressing against the sides of the driver side seat and whatnot. The Ford salesman was an older guy who told me had been doing this for 30 years and I believed him. He talked so fast. I've heard that is a good way to be a salesman. Just talk as fast and as much as possible. And he pointed this out to me. Saying sorry that he talked so fast.

I told the salesman I was also considering Dodge Challengers and he said for me to contact him since he could possibly locate a Dodge Challenger for me at some point if I wanted. He said I should get the Mustang I test drived ASAP. Since it was a GT and GTs go fast.

But then I thought I might as well get a new car. And not bother with another used one at his point. Since he showed me the computer print out car history that the car had 2 other owners in Arizona. And only 31,000 miles on it. I didn't wanna be number 3.

So I then got my current car washed and with the paint shimmering I felt much better about it.

Then went to see Public Enemies. Which was good. But I kinda hated the digital camera they shot it on. A period film set in the 1930s should be shot on 35mm. And it should not be shot shakey cam documentary style! Plus there seemed to be a lot of issues with the sound. It may have been the theater or the film itself.

Still, I loved running my hands through my super short hair during the movie. The scent of my freshly shampooed hair was music to my senses. I felt so clean, so neat and pure.

Then came home and did the laundry thing and had some Corona Light beer and Wild Turkey from the local liquor store and cheese and crackers and Gulden's mustard from Whole Foods. And watched YouTube.

This is the hell that is my life.

I am so perfectly and tragically uncool.

Crazy.

Crazy on you, baby.