Welcome Back Again To The Show That Never Ends

Had a few interesting months.

Went to see the new Cirque du Soleil show with the lead actor of American Pop. We met as friends on Facebook and then met up in real life. Very cool guy but a lot older than I remembered from the film.

Been spending too much damn money. Finally realized tonight I need to cut back.

Been dating quite a bit this year, hasn't gone all that well to be honest. I think I come across as too nice. Which is frequently a turn off for women.

No one reads this site so I really wonder why I bother posting on it. Vanity I guess. What little I have left.

The new short film is finished. Have been sending it out to a few film festivals. Just two rejections so far but they were from fests that were near impossible to get into.

Life's a joke.

Blood Simpleton

Finished shooting a new short film a number of weeks ago. Finished editing and color correction. Just waiting to get the score back from the composer. It's another comedy.

It was a major accomplishment working with a whole new set of actors and finding a new cinematographer and crew to work with for the first time. A friend who worked with me on the previous film had the lead role.

Will be going to the new Cirque du Soleil show, Iris, about the world of cinema, early next month at the Kodak Theater with a woman I'd gone out on a couple dates in the past. I was surprised she said yes when I contacted her. After our second date she messaged me that she felt we were leaning more towards friendship and not anything else. Story of my hellish life. But she changed her mind it seems when I brought up this show. She is no longer on the dating site we originally met on. Maybe something will come of it, maybe not.

At a lot of the employees have moved into one of the two new buildings being constructed at work. The old building I work in feels kind of like a ghost ship. I am liking the lack of people and the silence of the empty offices.

I've thought about writing a screenplay about a guy on the end of his rope, a man on the edge, who is a strange loner, drives a classic American muscle car that he takes good care of, who makes a good living at a dull job, who doesn't communicate with people much, who is trying his hand at online dating but not having much success, he spends a lot of his time seeing movies, hanging out at the local luxury cigar shop with the other lonesome losers, brooding, angry, not being able to connect with women, who keeps his simple apartment clean, the theme music would be the theme from the Coen brothers film Blood Simple.

Death becomes me.

Or not.

I vote not.

Nightcycling

Well. Finished up another 40 days on the master cleanse.

Then after going back to my local gastropub for the first time in ages the other night, I had bought a new bike at a sporting goods store earlier that day, stored it on my sizable balcony under an eave covered section, was thinking about getting up early to go biking in the morning.

Then I realized at the gastropub, why can't I do that at night? When it is calm and cooler. So I biked all the way down to the beach. Then up and down the bike/walking path along the beach. Went to the edge of the pier and sat on one of the benches with the last of rogue fishermen still casting their lines for fish.

You have to lock up or walk your bike on the pier. I swear looking out at the dark ocean with the lights on the pier I felt better than I had in years. I hadn't biked in literally eons. And had not bought a new bike in ages. It cost circa $300 with a 2 year maintenance plan. Which I guess is good to have for tune ups each 6 months.

But biking along that long beach path (which leads all the way to other beach cities and beyond) was amazing, still a good distance. Did over 15 miles round trip. Had to walk on some steep street sections.

Then biked back to the pad. Felt amazing. Got a sweet new bike. K2 brand, dark blue and black. A comfort mountain bike. With multiple speeds. Just wore jeans, Levi denim shit and black worn Chuck Taylors. Didn't feel out of place at all. Especially in the cover of darkness. There were late night walkers/hikers along the sands. But not a lot like the day time. And bike paths were on the concrete beach path going both ways and a pedestrian path. I swear it was incredible.

Like a new lease on life. The whole thing was at least 10 miles round trip if not more. I didn't want it to end. Had that Queen song Bicycle Race in my head (which is hardly my favorite of theirs). Very great time all around.

It feels good to earn your keep. To earn the calories for an evening meal. Even though I had nothing but Simply Orange before that main and lone meal. And it was hardly massive. Just hearty.

Plus the great feeling and rush of doing something active, simple and enjoyable. Much better than walking the damn beach. Amazing.

And the notion I had something interesting to do in the evenings now.

I might try biking to my gastropub for a meal or just a nightcap from time to time. Then do the beach paths and head back to the homefront. This is cool.

Should have done this long, long ago.

I felt 11 at times. Riding a bike is a bit like... riding a bike.

Easter

Feeling pretty good.

Had a pretty good Easter today.

Got up and finished Portal 2 on Ps3.

Left home awhile later and via the new GPS I made my way to a new outdoor upscale shopping center called The Americana in Glendale.

I had it in my head to get a royal shave (cost $55) at this joint there I read about in Los Angeles Magazine called The Art Of Shaving. It is a shaving chain that sells high end shaving equipment and provides shaves and haircuts on the premises.

I got there and the place was empty and went in the back room for the experience. I'd heard raves about it on Yelp. The master barber was a woman, kinda hot, looked like an American Scary Spice. They had classic jazz playing on the stereo and old school barber chairs there (these had hydraulic systems in the base so they were just made to look retro) and they leaned you back in a white barber smock, applied hot towels to your face to open the pours, applied many lotions, massaged the face, added lather and shaved with a straight razor. I was a bit nervous the whole time, I wanted to try a straight razor shave, they say it is the closest shave available, but still, it's a straight razor. I was paranoid about being cut especially in areas of the neck but there was nary a scratch.

There was a touch up with a high end electric razor and then a going over with the straight razor in tough areas again. After that a clear herbal face mask was applied. Then more lotions massaged in and then a cold towel applied to the face to close the pours. More lotions and massage and voilà. Fin.

I kept my eyes closed most of the time, just getting into the relaxation of it all. The master barber, American Scary Spice, gave me her card and thanked me profusely. I would guess I was probably her only customer that day. Made it point to give her a twenty dollar tip when cashing out using the trusty debit card.

Let there with my skin feeling smoother than it has since childhood. And not a red bump to be seen. Very interesting experience.

Then I walked around more and looked at all the places I'd want come back and eat at when the cleanse was done. An Italian place, a pizza shack and a retro burger place called Jewel City Diner.

They have a giant fountain there that does a water show with jet streams of water. Probably looks cooler at night. And a classic red trolley that drives people around the place.

This young family then stopped me as I strolled along the grass and asked to take their photo. Which I did, four snapshots. The woman then thanked me and wished me a happy Easter. Which felt very good.

Then I went to see Water For Elephants at the movie theater. Good film. The theater was very well designed and retro like a classic movie theater from early Hollywood. It wasn't the Arclight but I wasn't complaining. I sat on a bench in the theater while waiting for the movie to let in and people watched which was cool.

I was proud of myself for trying something totally new and GQ, a royal shave at The Art Of Shaving. It made me feel like that tagline from GQ Magazine, man at his best. It seems there's not many places you can go to be a man anymore. Which isn't true. But this place was all about being male. Since, who else shaves? It was like a day spa for men. It was male in a sense that wasn't negatory toward women. Just something by and for men. Which is refreshing.

So, all in all, a good Easter.

Life As We Know It Deluxe

Home again, home again. Well, back again.

Planning a new short film project. Should get the ball rolling pretty soon. Another comedy. It'll easier than my last one, anyone will be easier than that one. This one I'll be dealing with sixteen actors. So I'll have to keep them happy with plenty of craft services. Even if it is just a one day, ten hour film shoot. I'm guessing I'll just provide a lot of pizzas and diet Coke and regular Coke.

Been doing the online dating thing a lot. Had some second dates but that's about it. No real chemistry. Oh, I could have banged plenty of them. But either they were not interested in me or vicey versa. Life seems empty a lot of the time.

I'm back on the Master Cleanse. Need something to kick start the weight loss. I did it for the full forty days the last time I did it a couple years ago. Wasn't easy but I hung in there. I might go for fifty or thirty this time. Who knows. Say what you want about the MC, it works.

I miss my comfort food. It was sort of pathetic but I liked coming home at the end of the work day with a couple turkey burgers and a plain baked potato and a bottle of wine and champagne and chilling in front of the computer with lots of ketchup and dijon.

Food and drinking is an activity for me. Something to do. Since my life is very, very empty. I could maintain that diet and be healthy if I was just a hardcore exerciser or more athletic. I never used to hike before I did the cleanse the last time so maybe after this time I can work towards being a foodie and more athletic. A lot of people do it.

I'm liking my apartment a lot more these days. Finally wised up and called my apartment manager and they said they do carpet cleaning, which makes sense since they have to clean up an apartment when someone new moves in, and I now have a pristine clean carpet. It makes me feel like I've moved into a whole new place. It's good for the soul and soothing to the mind. It feels good to be in The One Bunk Hilton. I like where I live. It gets lonely sometimes especially without some comfort food, sex or good wine, beer or liquor. I should learn to cook. So on those nights when I know I'm going to have a lot of lonely days and nights for a long while to come I should come home, turn on some Sinatra, enjoy some fine wine, make myself up some great pasta and just enjoy being on my own. Which I do at times. But I just need to find more ways to keep myself entertained.

Mostly I want to subsititute two vices, drinking and food for another. Sex. But that's hard to come by for yours truly. I'm getting better and getting it these days. But still it doesn't come by as often as I'd like. I hooked up with a pretty good looking redhead MILF a few months ago and she seemed pleased as proverbial punch after we did it fast and furious at her place two times in a row. She seemed impressed. But I never heard back from her after that. Shoot.

I should be happy. I make a good living, have a good new car, am still fairly young, live in a decent place in a quiet area. But a lot of times I'm gloomy and lonely. I'm not sure if God exists but I find myself praying to this possibly non-existent God to send me a woman or women into my life.

I'm still obsessing over things like I usually do. Things that happened many moons ago any normal person would forget. About people who were cruel or hateful to me.

As I said I'm back on the Master Cleanse. Did it once before for forty days. Hope to do more this time. I was in eating mode for awhile now I'm in cleansing mode. When in eating mode I'm heavier and feel no woman will want me. Even though a few have.

I shouldn't let me haters get me down. Haters gonna hate. We're all imperfect hateful little human beings sometimes.

I try and treat people with respect in day to day life but what good does it do.

Sometimes I wish the world would end or just be like that movie 28 Days Later as I've said before. But that could be a problem if you got hurt or sick since there wouldn't be anymore hospitals. Unless you came across a military base of surviving humans.

Just wish I could be normal as I always say. Guess I'll just have to keep trying per usual. Until I snap. Which I hope I don't. And probably won't since I don't dig drama.

Salud.

Coming To A Close

Another year coming to an end.

I've done some things, drank some good spirits, gone to work a lot, seen many movies, gone on some dates, penned some Wikipedia articles and edited others, banged some MILFs and other types of girls, done this, that and the proverbial other thing.

Been really into Karl Strauss spirits lately. Big fan of Red Trolley ale.

A friend of mine and his new gal actually came over to The One Bunk Hilton (what I've named my studio apartment and/or humble digs) and brought me a gift for the holidays, a jug of Red Trolley Ale straight from the Karl Strauss Brewery. Was trippy seeing two strangers in my pad. I have never in my life had a friend drop by with their chick at a place I've lived. I know, that's insane, and it seems normal for most people to have a buddy over with their girl, but for me and my antisocial self, this was a totally new thing.

Yes, yes, I need to get out more, I know.

Been procastinating a bit too much lately. Just haven't felt motivated to choke the world by it's neck and suck the nectar out of life's great gaping rosebud. But this will change soon. Life will go on and get better for me and my fellow human beings here on Spaceship Planet Earth.

Such is life.

Hope yours is going well.

Cheers.

Make A Wish

Got sick on Saturday, thought it was undercooked meat.

Couldn't sleep all night. Was very painful to even walk. Thought I pulled a muscle below the abdomen.

Went to the hospital on Monday after calling in sick. They said I had diverticulitis. It is a problem with the intestines. They caught it early enough that a possible abcess didn't develop in the intestines and I didn't need surgery. There was micropeforation.

So I stayed six hours in a curtained emergency hospital room bed. The pain was bearable when you lie on your back. I was then taken to have a cat scan, diagnosed, then given a hospital room.

Stayed there from Monday morning till when I left at 1pm Friday. Was going stir crazy in that room, hooked up to an IV constantly and being fed anti-biotics and this other stuff that contains water and dextrose so patients can survive without food. Forget what is is called now. So I was off solid food for 3 days.

Wanted to get out of there by Thursday. And when the doctor didn't show up late Thursday I broke down pretty much and told the nurse I didn't want to stay in the hospital anymore. I hate hospitals. Even the good ones like this one.

It was so uncomfortable having strangers coming into your room wearing only underwear (you not them, that might have made the stay more interesting though given some of the nurses were hot) and a patients gown.

I sometimes couldn't goto the bathroom for fear my damn IV needle would dislodge and stop working because I couldn't move my arm. We moved the IV needle to another vein the next day and there were less mess ups. Plus I couldn't sleep since I couldn't get comfortable since I had to hold my arm in place.

So I stayed in bed most of the time. One thing that made it worth it was this painkiller. I asked for a sleeping tablet late that first night and it didn't help. But when I had a hit of this painkiller it just gave you this quick warm, sleepy feeling. And it took away body pains, headaches. You felt relaxed fast. They shot it into your IV tube and wham, instant relaxation. So the next few days I could bear it while on this painkiller. But I didn't think to ask for it the first night other than the time they gave it to me in the emergency ward.

If I stayed laying prone in bed there wasn't much pain. Only when I stood or walked. The painkiller reminded me of how people could easily get hooked on opium dens or some modern version of it. They'd be so stressed from the day to day activities I can see how easily it would be to go somewhere, lie down, take a hit and drift away from it all in a warm, fuzzy haze. I also didn't like having to ring this nurses call button hooked up to this remote that also worked the TV. Since I didn't want to be a bother. But I guess that just comes with what nurses do. They have a hard job. And they get paid pretty well for it. And I had people coming in my room one after the other drawing blood, housekeeping, whatever. Which is weird when you are pissing in a bottle under your sheets and don't want to get caught with someone walking in and watching you do it.

Having multiple, seemingly normal people asking me about personal bodily functions was off putting at first. But that's their job I had to remind myself. I didn't ask to have my sheets changed since I never left my room. I got a clean gown after the 2nd day. Only because they offered. I never was in a hospital and I didn't know you had to request this stuff.

Plus I finally got put on a liquid diet (which is the same thing for all 3 meals, a bowl of hot broth, a carton on juice, jello, a cup of hot tea, at lunch their was this sort of frozen Italian dessert with a foil sealed cover.

Then on the last day I got moved to solid food. The breakfast was scrambled eggs, dry toast, a slice of apple, a good sized bowl of oatmeal, a cup of coffee. They eggs tasted good at first till I realized they were probably not real or frozen or something. Mostly I didn't eat much of what they gave me. Since I am a picky eater.

But some of the most awful days ever. I guess this medical condition just happens. And no one knows why.

So I am home now, threw all the cold pizza and bottles of booze out. Not drinking anymore. No more red meat since my system can't handle it. Least not for some time. May drink socially in the future. But I never do the social thing anyway. Don't want this thing to recur. Need an excuse to not drink and eat healthier anyway.

Called and told work I will be out for two weeks to recover since that's how long my doctor said I would have to wait while I take medication at home after leaving the hospital. Got the perscriptions from the pharmacy.

I left the hospital thankful just to be out of there. Thought I'd never leave. Like I'd be lost in a sea of paper work and waiting for doctors to give the okay for release. But they were doing the right thing.

This condition can require surgery if not treated soon enough, they have to cut out the part of your intestines that get abcessed. How long would I have been in there if that was the case? I don't want to think about it. It scared me enough being in there.

I'm lucky it was a good hospital and I had my own room. If I had one of those rooms that I had to share with someone? Terrible. I'm lucky I had good health care coverage. The nurses encourage you to get out of your room and do a couple laps with your IV stand around the halls and no way was I gonna walk by nurses (a number of them young and pretty) in the halls like that.

I just brought one pair of clothes and underwear with me. Which I ended up rinsing out with hot water each morning. I didn't bring anything since I wasn't thinking I'd be staying. I tried to stay as clean as I could but with no shaving razor (and they won't give patients one unless the doctor says so for obvious reasons) and at times you can't get to the bathroom or even shower properly. You have to sponge bath yourself since they have to get an okay from the doctor to remove the IV since they had to keep constantly giving me fluids or anti-biotics.

They also had to tape up where they inserted the IV in your arm to cover it from the shower water. So at some point you realize these nurses see a lot more nasty things than yourself on a day to day basis. Really screwed up patients. This one dude roaming the halls with his IV machine looked like a skinny crazy homeless guy. And the young nurses were asking him, how are you feeling today, better? Like these pretty, normal nurses deal with these wack jobs all the time. I guess that guy musta been on Medicare since he looked too out of it to have had a job that gave him good health care. So at least those on Medicare got decent care as well at a facility like this.

I was afraid I was gonna see this girl I used to hook up with there. She works as a nurse and lives near me. Imagine if she walked in on me in one of the room where she was making her rounds.

They had curtains over the doors that were like 2 feet away from the doors to give extra privacy when people came barging into the rooms.

I hate hospitals. I don't like their scent. We certainly need them, but I don't like them. I don't know if God or fate saved me or if it was just a fluke I went in when I did. At one point when I was in the emergency room and they told me to disrobe and put the gown on I panicked and wanted to leave.

But I'm lucky it was just five days of fluids and anti-biotics. They said if you take them interveneously you heal much faster than just regular medication. I would have probably surivived even with the surgery.

But the mental stress and physical stress I don't want to think about. Or the length of the hospital stay. Lots of people have surgery. And I heard and saw people in the hospital who had been there multiple times (all older people). But the thought of going under the knife scares me. As does the scarring. The Israelis developed this laser that seals patients without stitiching them up. I would want that instead.

The pretty, thin head nurse who signed me out told me to take a shower when I got home to get all the hospital germs off me. She even handed me a pen, stopped, swabbed the pen down with a sterilizer napkin that comes sealed in foil and then gave me the pen. They had rubber gloves, hand cleaner, installed on the walls of every hospital room. Comes with the territory. But I thought, how does she work here all the time? She also said the doctor wanted me to take some potassium. So she gave me these two foil covered small plastic cups and I looked at the stuff and said, it looks like barbeque sauce. She laughed and said, it doesn't taste like barbeque sauce. So I downed it fast before she could get get me some water and she dashed out to get some. I had a small amount of water left in a glass in the hospital room but it didn't help much till she returned.

They also said they had to have me taken out in a wheelchair when I left. So this woman old enough to be my grandmother wheels out this six foot two guy who could be her grandson down to the front hospital door, I felt silly, like the position should be reversed, but just kept calm and endured the ride politely, I then made a point to thank her and split. Sure, she was in decent shape for her age. And she had smooth floors, carpets and elevators and modern wheelchairs to help her but for crying out loud I thought.

They were also a bit taken aback I didn't have anyone picking me up. And double checked that I was okay to drive myself which I was. But I drove away from there just glad that I was, not alive, which I was, but glad to be alive to be angry at the world, glad to listen to modern rock and pop songs on the radio, to see Legg's pantyhose on sale in the racks at the pharmacy, to be able to buy this new Sure deoderant I liked the packaging for, to be able to do all that and not be disfigured from surgery from some condition doctors with decades of experience don't know why happens, it just does, and being glad I could look in the mirror and see I'm still young enough to appreciate it all.

Make a wish, live another day.