Get Happy

Another day in paradise.

Woke up, got myself cleaned up, showered, shaven, brushed, buffed.

Might take in film later today. Get an Office Burger at Father's Office and a Chimay. Office Burger equals the perfect sandwich. I stay away from the fries. The garlic fries and the sweet potato fries. They are both good (I vastly prefer the former, 'natch).

I've gone for a couple of long (over an hour) walks in my neighborhood a few times starting out at 5AM. They've been invigorating. I will make them a habit. But only during weekdays. Less humans around.

Things will start to look up. Well, they have already. I just need to focus on the positive more. I have two functions I should attend this week and next week. Things related to two of the main actresses from my film are involved with.

Keep on keeping on, Johnson. That's a term of endearment from the counterculture. Or before. William S. Burroughs used it in his writings. The man's a Johnson. A good fella. You follow, killer?

Good times.

Things I Need

A beautiful woman. Close to me age or younger. To mate and to date with. Though I know I'm the worst possible boyfriend and husband material.

Well, scratch that. There are a lot worse ones out there who get a lot more action.

A fit physique. Not sculpted just fit.

Enough money to quit this crap but well paying job of mine. And be able to work full time creatively and not having to deal with a shit day job.

A different place to live in a better area. Away from where I am now. I live in a nice area. But a posh area of Santa Monica, Hollywood, would suit me better.

To experience all the sexual fantasies I always think about multiple times and get them out of my system.

To be prolific creatively. Write and finish more screenplays, more films.

To just learn to enjoy life.

Cheers.

Losers Lament

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I'm so fucking bored. My life is dull and empty. Maybe I shouldn't be drinking. I don't know.

I see people all around me in the world, on TV, on the net, in films, commercials, in day to day life, at bars, restaurants.

People happy, enjoying life, joyous, happy. Not sad, angry, fearful, paranoid, and so totally fucking and utterly bored with life like me.

I don't have the courage to venture out. I know I'll be miserable. I can be miserable at home.

I have a good job, a good car, decent apartment. I should be happy but I'm not. I'm overweight, out of shape, with a body so weak and abused that it doesn't feel like it can ever be improved.

It's overall weight could be brought down. But just try adding any muscle to these spindly arms. I can't get motivated to stick to any kind of long range exercise plan.

I see so many people with thin, tight, beautiful bodies. Not perfect. But fit, comfortable enough to walk around the beach or swimming pool in a bathing suit.

Not I says I. Not I.

I hate myself, I hate my boring life. No love, no sex, no romance, no fun.

All I have to look forward to is a decent sandwich during my workday lunchtime break.

And maybe a good movie. I can't relate to anyone. I can't...can't...can't...

I've never felt comfortable in this world. I should be happy and grateful. I could be a dirt poor person living in some third world country who barely gets enough food to survive.

I'm sick, sad, angry and depressed. And oh so bored and empty.

I wish I could wake up tomorrow. After being asleep for 28 days and nothing but water and a bare minimum amount of food fed to me through an IV.

And be near skeletal thin.

And find the world and everyone in it gone. Vanished. Save for.

Two percent of the population. Like 28 Days Later...

I don't have anyone on this planet I love enough to really miss. That sounds horrible but it's true.

I'm an empty, insignificant shell. Nothing.

Unfeeling and uncaring. Well -- not totally. If I was unfeeling I wouldn't feel so bad.

I wish some genuine happiness could come into my life. And some strength to face the day.

Please Lord/God/Goddess help me to find the strength. To carry on and find some much needed peace on this little green planet called Spaceship Planet Earth.

Peace.

Groundhogs, Film Festivals, Etcetera

Killer news. We won the Golden Groundhog for best underground movie!

Plus the film recently screened at the Park City Film Music Festival and got a Silver Medal for Excellence award. Okay, a lot of films there did.

We also were screened at the Muskegon Film Festival in Michigan under an alternative title. Supposedly to a standing room only crowd. At least that's what the festival director said when he e-mailed us.

And the film film be screening at the George Lindsey UNA Film Festival in Alabama this March. Dr. Lindsey played Goober on the Andy Griffith Show television series if you can believe that.

Also we will be making our United Kingdom slash international premiere this March at the Bradford Film Festival! In Bradford, England, 'natch!

We're also getting much closer to locking picture. And a Santa Clara Valley reporter who saw the film at Cinequest last year will be penning an article slash interview with yours truly soon.

All in all? A good month's work.

Cheers!